176 days and counting

I admit it. I haven't really been keeping track as well as I should. This weekend we were both home, broke, and my son was sick so we didn't go anywhere. We did clean, although I have to say, alot of it was grudge cleaning. You know, I can't stand looking at you, so I'm going to focus on this task I hate whilst I seeth with hatred.

We got a lot done, although it won't sound like it to anyone who's household mess doesn't completely overwhelm them. The laundry all got washed, but it's in the living room waiting to get folded and put away. He mowed the front lawn and cleaned a lot of our bedroom. I cleaned the living room, and kitchen, and the shower.

Everywhere I look, I still see piles of his shit everywhere. Knives, bags, kits, water bottles and camelbacks, boots, notebooks, more bags. Why anyone could possibly need more than 2 satchels, I don't know. I am a girl, and I'm supposed to have a closetful of shoes and purses, but that man can ACCESSORIZE. Except that they all look basically the same. What a waste of money and closet space. Maybe I should clean out a closet and JUST use it for his shit, then at least I'd have a place to throw all this crap.

Anyway, so yesterday was his Monday off. Jay is still home sick, but basically is just camping out in front of the TV. There are some dirty dishes from dinner and clean laundry... nothing too massive to do if you've got all day and nothing better to do, right? I got home, late because my ride into work during thunderstorms took an hour longer than usual, and he'd done NOTHING all day.

Oh, that's not true. He'd jacked off because later when I tried to have sex with him he couldn't perform again. Sometimes I want to just scream. I couldn't really care less if he does that, except that he does it so much he can't do anything with me! grrrrrrr.

All I could think of was that I hate being married to him. I'd like to think that will eventually change. I don't hate him, per se, but I do feel like I give and give, and I get very little in return. What did he do all day? I don't fucking get it!