Typical morning at my house. DH was angry with the kids. One is chewing too slowly, one is chewing to loudly. No one is paying a bit of attention to his rants except for me, and I'm looking at him like "Come on... they're kids, eating breakfast. What's the big deal?"
"FINE." he says to my son (his step-son) reacting to my look. "SMACK YOUR LIPS ALL YOU WANT TO. And YOU (turning to his daughter) EAT ALREADY!"
Jay spills a glass of water, and I swear, he almost lost it. How can you get angry when a 6 year old spills a glass of water?
He stalks off to the bedroom and lays down. This is a good thing. Just stay the hell out of the way if you can't help. As soon as he's out of the room, the atmosphere changes. It's not that I don't get frustrated with the kids, I just give them reminders rather than acting like everything they do is wrong, wrong, wrong. Everything goes pretty smoothly after that. DH joins me in the driveway to see the kids off to school, quietly sulking.
Quick history here. Today is September 10, 2009. DH and I have been married for a year and a half. I have a boy (Jay 6) and he has a girl (Nan 8). Jay's schedule is with me except for every other weekend. We have Nan 1/2 time and it's a strange schedule. We have her most mornings, every other weekend, and usually 2 nights per week. Poor kid.
July 25 I almost left DH. His internet proclivities (way beyond normal porn, which I'm not against in general) had shown themselves again. He admitted finally that he was a sex/ pornography addict and agreed to get help, which has bought him a little time with me. He's on anti-depressants (trying to find one that really works well), in weekly counselling and has gone to a few sex addicts annonymous (SAA) meetings. His attitude with the kids easily qualifies as emotionally abusive, although I don't see him being that way with me.
His current schedule is swing shift. He helps get the kids ready for school, then they don't see him again most evenings. I sometimes wait up for him. He thinks a change is coming in the next few weeks to day shift which I used to want... now I just see it as more time in purgatory.
Our financial situation is in a shambles. I'm -in theory- in charge of the money because when he handled it no one got paid. I'm not so great at it either, tbh. Especially when I'm in emotional upheaval like now.
So this morning I decided that I will make the decission of whether or not to get divorced in 6 months. March 10. 181 days.
I'm going to use a point system to track how he's doing. He started this morning with 100 pts.
-1 for anger at kids
-1 for anger at kids
-1 for anger at kids
-1 for anger at kids
+1 for removing himself from the situation
+1 for getting up to get the kids ready
-1 for unecessary anger about work
total: 97
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